Furthermore...

The beauty of social media – immediate feedback – is that I gain important insight into the effect of my words. I need this now more than ever – my emotions are on full power, and I am not going to get many things right. This is one of those times.

In my last post, it appears that I insulted my in-laws and the entire clan. That was not my intention. In fact, one of the many beautiful things I loved about being part of this family was how everyone – everyone – was still on good terms. They are this huge, complicated, lovely family and they are living proof that what Greg believed to be true made sense. I thank them for that. They helped me finally Get It.

No, I do not mean to cast aspersions on anyone. I have learned that everyone must be free to be themselves, live their lives, and sometimes, things don’t work out. Sometimes, we disagree on things. It’s not about right or wrong. It’s just about Different. My anger came from my own place of hurt, and I wrapped it in a blanket of words that didn’t hit the notes I wanted.

This is still first and foremost my journey – it involves taking charge, probably for the first time, of my mental health. It involves exploring the self esteem issues I have accumulated over the years. It involves focusing on love and respect in all of my interactions.

Somehow, I needed to tell this story of how I am managing, perhaps as a way of having some control over the script of The End of Our Marriage. I still want this to be a story with a happy ending – like all of the other happy endings my husband’s family has demonstrated can be possible.

So I will stop talking about anyone but myself in this blog and elsewhere on social media. I am very sorry to have come across as judgemental. I love and admire the entire bunch of them, and miss them terribly. I still hope that that relationship also will survive. Only Time and Space will tell.